Chronic Pain Interferes with Life AGAIN

I'm sitting in the media's "deadline" room (for the writers/reporters - there's a separate photographers' room) for the Talladega Superspeedway in central Alabama. Most would think that's amazing to be able to do - and I agree. But I'm still disappointed.

You see, I'm supposed to be out beside the track taking photos of this NASCAR Cup race. 

I'm both a writer/reporter and photographer. My plan for this weekend was to be a writer/reporter (being involved in the press conferences and the "bullpen" - where a person can ask a specific driver questions in small groups) on Friday and Saturday and being a photographer today.

I've tried to take it easy as much as possible for the weekend, especially this morning. I got out and did one thing that I needed to do as a reporter but, other than that, I've mostly sat and worked on my laptop.

Though I knew my back was hurting, when it came time for the cars to line up for the race, I thought I could push through the pain to take at least some photos. I walked out there - each and every step full of pain - only to have to turn around and come back.

I've shot here twice before. I fully understand that to get the kinds of photos I want, I have to move around. 

Photography isn't easy at a place like this, a sport like this. There are a lot of people and a lot of activity going on. There is absolutely nowhere to sit down and rest. The best angles may mean bending, twisting and/or holding one of my heavy cameras up, ready to press the shutter release, until there's something worthy of shooting. 

During those two events last year, I got some photos I consider high quality. I remember how difficult they were to get and I know if I go out in my present condition it would be hard, if not impossible, to get anything better - or even as good.

On the other hand, it's absolutely gorgeous weather. A week ago the forecast was for it to be about a 95% chance of rain all day. Even up until yesterday, the forecast called for a big chance of rain during the race. However, late morning/early afternoon it started clearing up.

By the time those famous words, "Drivers, start... your... engines!" were amplified to the humongous crowd, there were gorgeous blue skies.

But even better, it's cool outside. At the moment, almost exactly halfway through the race, it's 62 degrees. As I'm extremely heat intolerant, this is absolutely the perfect weather for me. I hate, hate, hate that I'm sitting inside for an event I love to shoot during this wonderful weather.

Oh - and the fact that it's sunny means that it's much easier to take great photos. The sun glistening off the cars and being able to use higher shutter speeds are just what you want when you are shooting this kind of sport.

I'm trying to be thankful. It's been a great weekend. This time last year, I finally became brave enough to ask a question during a regular press conference. I had no idea what a bullpen was - and even though I did ask questions of a few drivers, it was probably easy to tell it was my first time.

This year I participated in several press conferences, even asking questions of those who had nothing to do with my article's subject matter. I was much more confident during the bullpen - and wasn't frantic to try to get a lot of comments. I knew what I needed, got that, and didn't worry about more.

Yesterday my back wasn't hurting like it is today and I was able to follow the subject of my article around the garage to get a POV of what he does. I never made it to the garage either time I was here before.

Probably the coolest thing about the weekend was how the superspeedway's President recognized Travis and me and talked to us several times throughout the weekend - even sharing a running joke between us. 

This isn't something I ever thought I would do - or something I never even imagined that I would WANT to do. Now I love it. 

So... I recognize and am thankful that I'm in the press room. I know it's both great fun and great experience - for what I'm not sure, but one thing I've learned the past few years is that God rarely provides opportunities that He doesn't use later.

And... ironically... it's hurting pretty badly to sit right now. Maybe walking (and trying to shoot something) would be worth a try!

(Update 30ish minutes later: I did it! I went out for about 10 laps, about 200 photos. It hurt the whole time and my legs were shaking most of it. But I did it. I was thankful before, but now I'm really, really thankful.)

Success When You Feel Like a Failure

Maybe it's because I have perfectionist tendencies. Maybe it's because I'm a people-pleaser at heart. Maybe it's because nothing but being #1 is good enough.

But I feel like a failure a lot of the time.

This is contrary to what others see about me. I am actually pretty accomplished. Not counting this blog (which, to date, has over 150 posts), I have had over 250 distinct articles published from 1-4 times each. I have literally had close to or more than 1,000 photos published. My stories are published in three books. 

I have interviewed and/or taken photos of some big names such as Darcy Lynn, America's Got Talent winner; Ginger Duggar Vuolo of 19 Kids and Counting; Michael Jr, headlining comedian; Francine Rivers, best-selling author; and Jon Erwin, producer/director of American Underdog as well as many other high-grossing movies. I've covered major events like the K-Love Fan Awards weekend; major and minor sports leagues; IndyCar and NASCAR; and the 2019 Southern Baptist National Convention. 

Even with all these - as well as many other successes - in my 55-year life, I STILL feel like a failure the majority of the time.

However... one thing I'm trying really hard to learn is that the biggest successes can come out of the little things, especially if you have mental and/or physical issues that you have to overcome.

Here are some examples:

- There is a monthly meeting I try to attend, basically a networking and sharing event for women of purpose. It's on the second floor of an office building - and stairs are the only way to access the room where it's held. 

I have a phobia about stairs. I have a worse phobia about open stairs. Add to that, the stairs are outdoors, where rain or dew makes them even scarier.

The first time I went to this meeting, it took EVERYTHING in me to get up those stairs. I literally shook for more than half of the meeting. But I made it. 

THAT'S a success.

(After attending several times, it's getting easier, but it's still rough every time.)

- Because of having Bipolar Disorder, Type 2, there are days that I literally have a hard time not talking (it's a weird feeling to not be able to stop even when you want to). There are other days that I have a hard time talking at all.

In the past, I have tried to hide this struggle. However, recently in events such as the one I just mentioned, when I introduce myself I try to be transparent about this issue. 

In a place where it feels like everyone else attending has everything together except for me, sharing something that can be considered a major defect is difficult, to say the least.

But the first time I did it, so many came up to me afterward and congratulated me on being vulnerable and authentic.

That's ANOTHER success.

- I am very overweight. It's something I've tried to fix my entire life and finally, I decided it couldn't be changed for whatever reason, and I've been trying to come to peace with it.

However, I know that I still need to eat to be healthier, even if I never lose a pound. Like most people, especially women (stereotypical, I know, but I feel it's still true), I sometimes crave chocolate. And as a food addict, when I crave something, it's especially hard to avoid giving in.

One of my favorite ways to indulge is a Smoky Mountain Fudge milkshake from Jack's (a fast food chain in the South). In fact, in the past, the majority of times I have passed a Jack's, I have to fight with myself to not run through the drive-through.

However, lately when I've been really, really craving one of those wonderful milkshakes, I would just about be drooling by the time I got to my local Jack's - only to find out there was a long line in the drive-through. Instead of getting in line, I would decide that it wasn't worth it.

Now, that might be a normal response for a neurotypical, one who doesn't deal with food addiction, but for me, that was not what I would typically do. 

The scenario with the long line happened the next few times I wanted one.

Now, I drive past Jack's either without thinking about the milkshake at all or I can dismiss the thought without the fight.

This is  DEFINITELY a success.

In every one of these scenarios, I felt like a total failure the first time (or multiple times) I tried to change. But these types of successes, over time, will actually do more to impact my life for the good than the big ones - the awards, the photos and articles being published, and other accolades. 

Let's celebrate all successes, even the ones that may seem insignificant at the time.

Floaters (No, Not the Up-In-the-Air Kind)

If you read this blog at all, you know that I'm a photographer and a writer. My eyes are really important to me. Visual acuity is important to me. Not seeing things that aren't there is also important to me.

Rewind back to Christmas Eve 2022. I wasn't feeling well (it turns out I had the flu and was in the hotel room all day instead of hanging out with my husband's family for Christmas), but I just thought I was tired at the time.

I started seeing flashes of light in my peripheral vision of my left eye. I sometimes have visual migraines so I thought it had to do with that, even though this wasn't what happens to me typically. I took some ibuprofen and tried to rest - and not worry. After a while, when my anxiety started ramping up about what was going on, I did some online research (after all, it was Christmas Eve - no doctors) to make sure it wasn't something I had to deal with immediately.

Thankfully, it wasn't. 

Then I noticed the floaters. I didn't think too much about them at first. I've had floaters before. Never this many or this big, but it's not a new thing.

I really thought they would go away... that they would be reabsorbed (do they do that?) or my brain would learn to ignore them. More research found that usually in six months they would either go away or be bearable to deal with. 

My online searches also revealed a few OTC therapies I could try with no risk. When there was no change after a couple of months, I chose a supplement - L-Theanine - to try. It didn't help. I was already taking some other OTC supplements for my eye health since my cataract surgery so I stopped there.

After six months, I went to my eye doctor and asked if there was anything that could be done. He said that eventually, I should adjust. He may have mentioned laser therapy but if he did, he also discouraged me from going that route. I simply remember leaving the office dejected, with no hope.

Because living with it was the only option I seemed to have, I did so. It got in the way of my living as a photographer, but what could I do? I had to make do. Besides, with only one eye affected, I kept in mind that it could have been worse.

Fast-forward to January 2024. It got worse. The same thing happened in my right eye. At least this time it wasn't accompanied by the fear of earlier... I knew the signs that showed I needed to go to the doctor/ER and I wasn't "seeing" any of them.

More floaters followed. It became harder and harder to ignore them at this point. It affected editing photos and writing more than anything because when I work, I stare at two extra-large monitors. The floaters are worse when you dart your eyes from side to side, which I do constantly when I'm on the computer.

However, though work is affected the most overall, what is really unnerving is the peripheral vision issues. So many times, I think someone has come up beside me, only to find it's a floater. When driving, I have to be extra careful to make sure the lane is clear (thankfully, I have lane assist with my car!) because a floater can look like a vehicle coming up.

This issue is the biggest problem when I'm doing a photography shoot. I use my peripheral vision a lot while my face is plastered against the viewfinder. Not knowing whether something is real or not in your outer vision gets to you after a while - and makes concentrating on the photos needed harder than usual.

Speaking of "getting to you," there's one more reason that I am having a hard time with these little black specks - my mental health. I don't have a diagnosis of OCD but I definitely have some obsessions and compulsions. These and my other mental health issues make it really difficult to ignore the floaters and they can increase my anxiety (which is regularly high already). 

I'm sharing all this because, on a fluke, my mom had an optical issue where she needed a retinal specialist. I had no idea this kind of doctor existed! I took her to the doctor and realized that THEY might be able to help me.

Asking the tech, she told me that not only did they deal with floaters, the doctor we were seeing had a special interest in floaters. He has developed a website - www.floaterstories.com - that explains what's going on, its history, the impact of floaters on everyday life, and, obviously, stories of those who have experienced them.

I knew I had at least a chance of getting rid of them. This morning I went to this specialist. After several tests to measure my acuity and the amount of floaters I have, I waited nervously for the verdict.

He told me what I had feared - that he had seen much worse. However, he went on to say that a condition like this doesn't have a clinical guideline to show whether or not a person should have surgery done. It depends on the person and how much the floaters negatively impact his/her life. 

So, I was the one who got to choose. (HUGE sigh of relief!)

Needless to say (but I'm saying it anyway), I'm choosing surgery. There is a risk with any surgery, but I feel that the possibility of being free of these annoying distractions will be worth it.

I'll try to remember to do an update after it's over. Until then, I'll just be waiting and praying that it goes well - and trying not to let my anxiety rule.

(Note... I updated this story to include the journey through having floaters' surgery on both eyes. See post on July 15, 2024 to read the full account.)

Once Again, I'm Ba-ack!

  If you've read this blog any length of time at all, you know that as much as my desire to be consistent is, my life doesn't allow for much consistency. I'm not saying this as an excuse... it's just the way it is.

When you deal with (summarized)...

- multiple physical and mental health issues,

- getting married at 54 years old to someone who was never married... and only being a little over a year into that marriage,

- a grown daughter with multiple physical and mental health issues, 

- a struggling freelance business that, though it makes money, never seems to allow me to get ahead, and

- living with my elderly parents and helping them out...

... you don't have much left for things that aren't necessary.

This time it was almost a three-month-long illness (complications from surgery) that ended with my dad's death. I was at the hospital the vast majority of the days, often getting there around 7am. 

At first, I tried to work while I was there. In fact, anything posted from September 2023 until the first part of December 2023, was written while I was there. Some were written early on during that time, but due to being interrupted by a doctor or nurse, I didn't finish them until further into the hospital stay.

The stress, exhaustion, and roller-coaster ride that was my dad's illness, as he would get better and we thought he'd go home, only to have a setback, really took a toll. As would be expected, it wore me out emotionally, but it also wore me out physically - so much so, that I got very sick the week before he died and didn't fully recover for over a month.

Until this time I had never dealt with the death of a close family member. Of course, being my age, my grandparents have already passed away, but when they all died, I lived in another state. It was sad but it didn't affect my day-to-day life.

This was completely different. As I mentioned earlier, my husband and I live with my parents. We have always been there to help them out as needed, but there was the underlying knowledge that it was also to be there for the survivor when one of them died. 

I had no idea what all happens when a person dies. I don't mean the funeral, burial, etc (though those are more extensive than I realized), but everything else. I've thought about it before because I was a single mom for 15 years and wanted to have as much as possible ready in case I died before my daughter, but there's no way to anticipate everything when it's basically just a thought experiment.

Add to this that in the past few years, my dad has been showing signs of dementia. He was mostly able to stay independent, but his organizational skills went very downhill. He put paperwork wherever he felt like it. So, one of my first tasks after the funeral was over was to scour the house for anywhere paperwork that we needed to move forward could be.

Then I took all of those documents and sorted... and sorted... and sorted. I would think I was done and happen to think of somewhere else to look - and would find more. Remember that I was still sick during this time - and very, very exhausted. For a while, if I sat down without anything urgent that needed to be done, I fell asleep. That's not my norm.

It seemed that there were roadblocks with every step, in addition. For example, my dad's death certificate - which is necessary to do almost anything financially for my mom - had the wrong name on it. We had to wait to get it fixed before we could, as another example, apply for his pension benefits to be switched to my mom's name. 

Then when we got all that done, we got the official application for a survivor's pension, the name was wrong on it too! We again had to wait to get it fixed before I could take my mom to get it notarized and sent in to the pension board.

There was also a lot of family drama concerning all this that I won't go into. Just let me say that it's been a major deal and was the cause for me to drop to the lowest low I've had in a few years.

But now, almost two months after my dad's death and close to five since all this started, I'm finally doing more than trying to get "back to normal" (whatever that is). I'm somewhat succeeding. 

For the vast majority of these past five months, I've been at home when I wasn't at the hospital or at a photography shoot. My husband and I did get to go on a long-planned and already paid-for vacation when we thought he was getting better, but had to come home early when he took a turn for the worse.

Church, friends, shooting for fun, and even something as small as going out to eat didn't happen. Being able to work was sporadic, at best. Much of what I did regularly before, like my pool workouts, had to be put on the back burner. 

I still am spending a lot of time getting everything straight for my mom. I'm trying to streamline things that will make our lives easier, like getting her accounts on auto-pay, rearranging kitchen items so she can get them without help, and moving her prescriptions to a pharmacy much closer to our house.

Hours and hours and hours have been spent on all this... and there are still some things I'm trying to get worked out for her, so it's not over. Knowing it will technically never be "all over," (at least not until she's gone, and I'm trying my best to keep that from happening for a long time), I'm working to adjust to the "new normal." 

This new normal will mean getting used to being interrupted when I'm working because she can't reach something (there are never enough low cabinets). The new normal will mean I have to communicate a lot more about my upcoming schedule to make sure she'll be okay while I'm gone. The new normal will mean taking her to doctor's appointments, making sure her bills are paid, and staying on top of car and home maintenance. 

But I'm hopeful I can back to doing this... consistently. (Like THAT ever actually happened - LOL!)

You never know, though. After all, doesn't everyone say that anything is possible?

How to Interview (if You were Never Trained How)

Journalism was not a field I ever planned to go into. Both my bachelor’s and master’s degrees were in education and when I first decided to try freelancing seven years ago, I planned to use the skills I've honed over the years as a photographer to make a living. 

As an avid reader, I did have a secret dream of being a writer, specifically of writing a book one day. But to regularly write articles for newspapers and magazines? That was so far out of my thinking it wasn't even a dream.

Note that I have absolutely no training. I didn’t minor in journalism. I didn’t even take a journalism class. For that matter, I took the most basic English class I could as I was planning to be a math and/or physics major.

It was a "God-thing" that I started writing professionally. Working as a photographer led to a chance to write a series of articles. That led to writing more.

But before you decide that this post isn’t worth your time and you leave to read another post from someone who does know what they are doing, let me explain where I am now.

I’m not bragging because it really was God-thing after God-thing that got me to where I am, but in the four years since I started writing professionally, I have interviewed and written articles about musical artists, film producers/directors, best-selling authors, and professional sports.

 In addition, I’ve won both local and national awards for my writing and gotten numerous compliments from those who have been interviewed a lot throughout their careers.

 I must be doing something right.

So now, back to the beginning…

When I started writing for a newspaper, I started having a lot of what I thought were great ideas for articles. However, I had no idea of the steps to take an idea all the way to a published article.

Between pride and social anxiety, I hesitated to ask others for help. I didn’t know about SCWC (Southern Christian Writer’s Conference) or other similar organizations.

I decided I would try to figure it out on my own, with a little advice from a friend who was a former journalist.

My first two articles were relatively easy. I saw that TobyMac and Hillsong United were coming to Birmingham, AL and I got a green light to try to cover the concerts.

The first hurdle was finding the agent/tour manager/publicist to grant me a press pass. That’s still how I start today – type in the name of the artist, follow it with “manager” and see what Google says.

Sometimes this works. Sometimes it doesn’t. At first, I didn’t have the skills to go beyond that step, but thankfully, at the time it worked.

After submitting those two, I really caught the bug. I realized this was fun and I had a feeling it was something I could do well.

From these I went to a journalist-type coverage of a workshop at Samford. I took notes and photos, but other than a follow-up question or two, I still wasn’t doing any real interviewing… yet.

Then came the first big interview (or so I thought) - Chonda Pierce. I got in touch with her management and included a note in the pitch to the paper that she would also be a good podcast subject.

They thought that was a great idea. So, my “first interview” was conducted by someone else. They used some of my questions, but mostly it was their interview.

I recorded and took notes (literally transcribing the whole thing without software… pro tip – don’t!) and wrote an article based on the podcast.

When my first real solo interview opportunity came up, I hadn’t asked for it. I didn’t even want to get the information that way. I wanted to cover the event as I had been doing.

However, I couldn’t get into the event so my first ever “real” interview was done only because I couldn’t get the information through research alone.

Looking back to that interview, I have to laugh. I hand-wrote my notes. I again transcribed every word from my voice recording. It was a mess and took forever to finish.

To try to improve (without bothering anyone), I found writing organizations; I watched online workshops; I listened to great interviewers doing their thing. But mostly I simply tried to analyze what went well and what didn’t after each interview.

From there, it just evolved.

At first my questions came mostly from what I wanted to learn. Even though I kept in mind that it was also about the reader, it took a while for me to think more from the publication’s audience’s perspective. (Boy, is that embarrassing to admit!)

I also didn’t want to simply regurgitate what had already been written so my questions had to reflect that.

One thing that helped was a game my journalist friend shared early on: “Stump the Interviewee.”

Within the big goal of composing an interesting, well-written article, my small goal, especially with those who had been interviewed a lot and had pat answers developed for most questions, is to hear at least once during the interview, “Man, that’s a great question!”

One of my favorite instances of this was a question I asked Matthew West (one of the few interviews where I’m such a big fan that I had to work to stay professional and not go all “fan-girl” during the interview).

I came up with the question during the K-Love Fan Awards’ press conference. I thought it was amazing (in my humble opinion).

The question was "It’s obvious that fans resonate with your message of being honest, real, and vulnerable. Why do you think it’s still so hard to be transparent at church or with other Christians? What can we do about it?”

When he didn’t show for the press conference, I got to ask it during an interview – and I got my “Man, that’s a great question!” 😊

I’m still learning (and know I always will be). Though I love my current style and it seems to work, I’m now trying to figure out how to be more efficient, with more directed questions.

That’s one of the great things about writing; it’s a field where someone can start at any level of training and learn as you go.

Plus, you never know where you’ll end up. Maybe you could also interview Matthew West!

Other tips/advice:

-        I try to do interviews from home so I can take notes on my computer.

-        I make sure to record it… on two platforms. It’s happened more than once that one of my recording devices failed.

-        I randomly add timestamps throughout so that I can easily find exactly what was said.

-        When I hear a potential quote, I write “QUOTE” with the timestamp. I’ve also started adding “START WITH THIS” or “END WITH THIS” to refresh my memory later.

-        I always ask for permission to record. I’ve never been told no, but a refusal is always possible.

-        I have a system to back-up all of my notes and recordings.

 

BIO:

Tracy is an award-winning professional writer/photographer and has had hundreds of articles and thousands of photos published in newspapers, magazines and online. She’s passionate about helping others and finding unique angles for telling stories through images and words.

Offshoots of this passion are her blogs – one about her learning curve (and mistakes) as a freelancer and another about mental health and invisible illnesses called “Spotlight on Stigma - Welcomed but Not Accepted.” She’s also learning sign language and goes to a Deaf church. She has one adult daughter, is a caregiver for her elderly parents, and recently married a fellow photographer, Travis Frontz, who has just joined her freelance business full-time.

To find out more about their work, go to www.NovelPhotos.com. To read her blog about being a freelancer, go to the Novel Photos website and find “Novel Photos’ Blog” in the menu. To read her blog about stigmas, go to www.SpotlightonStigma.com.

 

When Hopes and Dreams Attach to Things

I'm embarrassed even as I write this. 

Backstory... My husband recently joined my freelancing business. It's something we had planned to do "one day" but not right now. 

An unexpected job loss and a little too much work for me to handle it on my own pushed us to try to make this work.

It's not like we were living in the lap of luxury. Together we made only about $60k a year. Another $5k+ went towards medical bills due to his not-so-ideal health insurance and my many physical and mental health issues and another several thousand goes to help my daughter who currently can't work due to medical issues.

With the change, we technically went to just over the poverty level. I really think we can build it to the point we'll have enough to live on.

But with the transition, it became time to sell some of the things that I've been thinking about selling for a while - to help pad our income until we can figure things out on making a living doing this.

Some were no-brainers... the laptop I never use but kept for a backup, the camera that I never used but also kept for a backup, some small camera accessories, etc. 

Then there was another item that I had been wanting to sell for a while, but also kept it "just in case." If you follow any decluttering site, one common thing they tell you is to ask yourself if it's something that brings joy, or conversely, does it make you feel guilty when you think about it. This definitely qualified under the guilt category.

It was my studio set. It was one of the first things I bought for my business and with every accessory or new backdrop, my dreams got bigger and bigger about how it could be used. 

However, I live in a very tiny space and all of those backdrops took up a lot of room. The backdrop stands didn't take up much room, but the case I bought for them (and the backdrop I was using on a shoot), took up one large shelf by itself.

However, over the years, I only used it a few times. Then I got practical and bought a t-shaped stand with a popout smaller backdrop. It does the job well for headshots or couples and is much, much easier to store, transport, and setup. 

So it was this item that made the most sense to sell as it was the most unlikely to need in the future and it by far created more space once it was gone.

I listed it, half thinking that it would probably never sell. Though we needed the money, I kept my expectations low.  

Then one day, I got a serious inquiry. Someone wanted to buy it!

I quickly found out that I was more attached to it than I thought. Though the money from the sale would really help with that month's bills, there was a part of me that hoped it wouldn't go through.

As I pondered this irrational thought, I remembered another time this kind of thing happened. When my daughter was young, I bought her a used swingset. It was the focal point of play whenever her friends came over. It was a cherished item for years, even after the time she broke her wrist while doing a trick on it.

However, it was a bear to mow around. I didn't have, and couldn't afford, a weed eater. So I would try to get as close as possible with the lawn mower. I did a decent job and it looked okay, but it took time that I would have much rather spent doing other things.

After two or three years went by without her using it, I knew it was time for it to have a new home. I listed it for free on Craigslist (think of it as the original Facebook Marketplace) and was excited about getting it out of the yard.

It took no time before someone let me know he wanted it. He couldn't afford to buy one for his young children and was thrilled that he found one for free. He planned to come and pick it up the following weekend.

My social anxiety makes it difficult to talk to people in these situations (which is partially why I didn't sell it - I would have had to interact to get the cash as this was before Venmo and CashApp). So, he told me when he would be there and I hid in the house while he took it apart to take to his children.

I did, though, peek out the window to see his progress and so I would know when I was free to go outside without having to talk to someone.

As I looked, I was blown away by the emotions that overwhelmed me, as I started to cry hysterically. 

It was simply an unused, in-the-way swingset on the surface, but emotionally, it was the dream of having more children leaving in pieces on that truck.

When I met the man and his wife to do the transaction for the studio kit sale, I felt similarly. It was different in that I knew I would still do photography, but it hit some of those same emotions with all of the hopes and dreams I had those early days of doing this business leaving in the couples' truck.

I try to tell myself the memories are still there - and in both instances the hopes and dreams have morphed into different and better hopes and dreams - but even now, there's just a little bit of sadness about those times of my life that are now gone forever.

Categorizing Music

On the surface, this topic has absolutely nothing to do with stigmas. But read until the end and you'll see why this was included in this particular blog.

One day recently I was listening to the radio. My husband and I are now driving a new-to-us car and we haven't figured out the radio system yet, so we were testing different methods to find out the easiest way to program and access our favorite stations.

Some of the stations we ran across were obvious - a popular song from the 70s was pretty indicative of an oldies channel; a twangy sound was most likely the local country channel; the mellow speaking voice meant it was probably NPR or a local talk radio show.

But some were harder to guess. Sometimes the lines blurred. A pop rock sound could be a contemporary Christian channel or a latest hits station. Modern country can be confused with some types of old-school rock. Even what seems to obviously be NPR, could potentially be news.

It made me think - where is the line drawn. Just how "twangy" does a song have to be to be classified as country? How loud and raucous does a song have to be to be classified as hard rock? And when does a current hit finally evolve into an "oldie"?

(Funny sideline story... one night I was driving in northern Alabama after visiting my family. I was a little sleepy and was scanning the scarce channels to find something I liked that would help me stay awake. I finally came across a song I loved and sang along happily... 

That is, until I heard, "That was [insert name of a band] and this is the Oldies Channel!" It was one of the first indicators that I was actually old and it struck me harder than I would have imagined.)

Back to categorizing music...

Who comes up with the dividing lines? Is it the artist, the agent, the promotor, or the public? 

When an artist "crosses over" it usually means a jump from one confining category to another. Examples are a Latin singer becoming mainstream or a Christian artist being played in with Top 40 hits.

But what if, as mentioned in the second example, there was no dedicated Christian channel in the first place? There would be no need to try to break out of the shell of only playing to a Christian audience. Non-Christians would have to listen to Christian music and vice-versa. 

There would be no opposition, no polarization, no stigma of being "only a Christian band" (a possible sentiment of the non-Christians) or being "only a secular band" (a possible sentiment of the Christians).

I don't have an answer... I just thought it was an interesting question. But I do happen to think that if this was true, like Louis Armstrong said, "What a wonderful world."