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Showing posts from December, 2019

Weight Loss, Adele, and What If We Have It All Wrong?

I just read an article on "The Mighty", a digital health community created to empower and connect people facing health challenges and disabilities, about the big deal the press is making of Adele recently losing weight.  This article so affirmed ideas I have had for years but never thought could actually be true, because society and especially medical personnel, have been saying the opposite. The article, titled "What to Remember Before Commenting on Adele's Weight Loss" (published mid-December 2019, written by Lexie Manion... https://themighty.com/2019/12/adele-weight-loss-christmas-photos/?utm_source=newsletter_mighty_brief&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=newsletter_mighty_brief_2019-12-30&$deep_link=true  has some amazing thoughts in it.  But by far my favorite paragraph is this one: "For those struggling with eating disorders and disordered eating, celebrating someone's weight loss uninvited can trigger dangerous behaviors in an attemp

Christmas is Here

I have had bad Christmas seasons before - the year I found out my husband wanted a divorce, the first Christmas I had as a truly single mom, the year I lost my job/career and decided to move back home... but this year has topped them all.  The biggest difference between those horrible years and this year is that it never got back.  I wasn't able to muscle-through and at least try by going through the motions.  I just couldn't work it up to care enough. I chalk this up to major depression and some life events happening this month.  I haven't put up one decoration and have barely done any Christmas shopping.  I haven't gone to one Christmas party or event (well, with the exception of watching my daughter's college choir in their annual Christmas event - but I felt numb through the entire program).  My daughter and I make Christmas cookies together almost every year (very few exceptions), but that didn't happen.  We didn't even watch "A Charlie Brown Chr

Mixed-State Ultra-ultra Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder Type 2 Is...

Mixed-State Ultra-ultra Rapid Cycling Bipolar Disorder Type 2 is... ... See the lists for "Depression Is...", "Hypomania Is...", and "Anxiety Is...", combine them, and have them pop up randomly at any time of day, any day. Sometimes scenarios off of 2 or even all 3 lists can show up at once.  Sometimes it's more than one scenario from one list all hitting at the same time.  Sometimes in the morning, you start with scenarios from one list then at some random point in the day, change to another.  Sometimes you can stay on one list, cycling through many of the scenarios on just that individual list for days, weeks or months. The only thing you know for sure with this disorder is that no matter how you feel at the moment, that feeling will eventually change with a different scenario or list heading your way.  Though it's possible for it to change into stability, even then it's temporary.  The lists will return with a vengeance.  Medicine, the

Mania/Hypomania Is...

Mania/Hypomania is... ... talking way too much and even though you feel embarrassed doing it, you can't stop; ... not being able to get to sleep; ... not being able to stay asleep; ... waking up way too early; ... having amazing ideas for all of these life-changing projects, but not being able to focus enough to finish any of them, or even really get started on them; ... feeling at the top of your game but in the back of your mind knowing can't trust that feeling; ... working non-stop without stopping to do basics like eating or getting something to drink; ... having medical conditions like restless legs syndrome amp up so that you are miserable while you are working non-stop; ... having anger issues that you can't seem to control; ... dealing with constant thoughts, usually negative, that you can't silence no matter what you do; ... not being able to stay on a topic of conversation; ... being distracted extremely easily; ... spending more than usual; ...

Depression Is...

Depression is... ... knowing how relaxing a hot bath would be but still putting it off as it's too much effort; ... recognizing that there's one task for the day that has a deadline, and even though it should only take about 10 minutes to finish and submit, still putting off getting it done; ... not caring about how you look; ... not being able to plan ahead, like what you need to buy at the grocery store so that you can make meals for the next week; ... forgetting something someone just  told you; ... not wanting to get out of bed but also not being able to sleep while in that same bed; ... feeling "foggy" all the time, not being able to focus or concentrate, becoming very ADD but only for that time; ... not being able to decorate for a holiday, or at least not wanting to; ... realizing that your addiction is killing you but not being able to stop doing it, again because it's too much to even figure out where to start; ... viewing your work as horrible,

Anxiety Is...

Anxiety is... ... heading down a staircase, imagining what the fall would be like and wondering which time it will actually happen; ... seeing a large nail or other sharp protrusion coming out of a wall and thinking about the scenarios for your head hitting it and having a major injury or dying; ... waking up in the middle of the night with some strange symptoms, looking them up to make sure it's not a heart attack (even though you've looked them up many times before), seeing you don't have even the unusual symptoms of a heart attack, but still not being able to go back to sleep because what if it is, in fact, a heart attack; ... having your boyfriend not answer your text for an hour and, even though you know he's probably just taking a nap, letting the fear freak you out - being sure that he's injured or dead; ... looking on a tracking program (our whole family does it) late at night and seeing that your adult daughter is at an unusual location and, even thoug

Making it Through the Holidays with Addiction and/or Mental Illness

No matter where you are in your sobriety or mental health journey, the holidays won't make the urges to turn to your addiction or make the symptoms of your mental illness go away.  Social media and television portray holiday parties and family gatherings as wonderful, fulfilling, stress-free times.  In fact, they are just the opposite.  For an addict or someone who struggles with mental illness, the stress of the holidays can be the trigger to bring even someone who has gotten more healthy into going back into old behaviors.  I'm not a doctor or therapist but I did some online research to try to find any tips that might help during this difficult time of year.  Following are some suggestions that might help: - BEFORE the holidays hit, make a plan.   Studies show that stress can bring long-dormant behavior back.  Get with your sponsor or another support person and plan for those stressful times. - Remember that you aren’t alone.   We are all dealing with staying

Oh... The Holidays...

Every year around the middle of October I start to dread what is to come: The Holidays ... Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas - the trifecta of guilt, bad memories, and stress. All of my memories of this time of year weren't bad.  I guess Halloween was ruined first.  As a kid, I was diagnosed with hypoglycemia.  I could still have sugar (this was before they equated carbs with sugar), but had to only eat it with something to slow down the spike in blood sugar that would later lead to a glucose low. Reese's became my favorite candy during this time, and it still is.  The peanut butter has protein and fat, which helps slow down that surge of sugar from the chocolate that would run through my veins.  Halloween to me meant getting all of the cool different types of candy and then trading pretty much everything for the few Reese's Cups my brother got. Maybe it happened and I forgot about it, but I don't ever remember ever going crazy on candy after Halloween.  I had