Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Just Because I Haven't Written...

My goal was to write once a week, even though I said in my first post that I knew it might be less than that.  Well, I've already blown that goal.  It's been almost 3 weeks since I last wrote.  Sigh...

In my defense, the last two weeks have been INCREDIBLY busy for me.  A huge event with work, an out-of-town guest, and regular life have kept me more going more than I'd like.  But add to that my mental and physical issues, and it's enough to take anyone down.

You see, I found out recently I have Bipolar Type 2 Disorder.  This is on top of a laundry list of other physical and mental issues I've dealt with throughout my life.  Finding out I have bipolar is making so many other things make sense but it's still been a big issue.

I'll use the past couple of weeks as an example.  Just as this really busy time started, I hit a manic cycle.  Part of me was relieved.  Even though I rarely have the type of mania that most people associate with bipolar (the overly happy one), I'm able to get more done when I'm manic than when I'm in a depressed cycle.  The problem is that my mania usually is accompanied by extreme worry and sometimes mental paralysis.

I've been able to work on the big project a lot because of the need for less sleep and the motivation that increases with mania.  But the anxiety makes it hard because the negative mental script I have going constantly also increases in power and ferocity.  Furthermore, I know that my manic cycles don't last very long and when I crash, I crash hard.  Right now I don't have time to crash hard so I've been fighting and fighting to just keep going.

Speaking of going, I have got a lot of things I've got to get done today and I'm running late on getting them started.  Hopefully more soon.

#SpotlightOnStigma #SOS #WelcomedButNotAccepted #Stigma #MentalIllness #Bipolar #Addiction #SingleParenting #Alone #NotAlone #Depression #Anxiety #EatingDisorder #SuicidalThoughts #OCD

Thursday, May 9, 2019

Sometimes It Seems EVERYTHING is a Struggle

I finally was able to get this website off the ground.  It seemed easy at the time... I had just developed a very involved, complicated website for my business - so how hard would it be to make one just to do blogs?  Well, it turns out, very.

I tried several web hosting providers that I thought I could get for free and there were always hidden costs.  After setting one up and THEN finding out the cost, and having this repeat a couple more times, I was about to give up.  But this is something I really want to do and so I figured somewhere out there was a way I could do it without killing my budget.   I finally found Blogger.

I had already bought the domain name (which also took longer than I thought because, who knew that there were price differences there too?) so all I had to do was develop this site and connect the name.  ALL I had to do?  When will I learn that it's never that easy?

I tried; I struggled; again I almost gave up.  But this morning I was finally able to get some help from customer service at the domain name site.  It even took them awhile to figure out what was going on but they finally fixed it.  So... I have a connected domain name but it wasn't coming up correctly.  I just had to wait a bit for it to get uploaded all the way and then it happened. is now live!

I know I haven't gotten into my story but the last few days have been rough so I'm very glad I was able to finally figure this out and be able to move on from this particular technical challenge.  Gotta celebrate the small victories where I can.  :-)

#SpotlightOnStigma #SOS #WelcomedButNotAccepted #Stigma #MentalIllness #Bipolar #Addiction #SingleParenting #Alone #NotAlone #Depression #Anxiety #EatingDisorder #SuicidalThoughts #OCD

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Why a Blog When There are So Many Already Out There?

So... Stigma and overcoming it is something I've been passionate about for years, but I assumed no one would care about my opinion about anything. But because of recent changes in my life, a new diagnosis, and other rough stuff I'm dealing with, I started reaching out for anyone - any stranger - who I could identify with. Blogs, vlogs, and podcasts all became my friends through this journey. If a voice in my ear or some letters on a page help me feel less alone and also give me a tiny bit of strength to make it through one more day, then maybe, just maybe, I can be that for someone else. If this just happens to help even one person, it's worth it.

I don't have the self-esteem to watch myself in a vlog or hear myself in a podcast, so I'm going to stick to blogging for now... and we'll see where it goes.

In this blog, I plan to discuss some issues with the stigma that I've dealt with for part or all of my life. Some of these are more accepted than others. Some it'll take some major courage to admit (so those will come later). I'm usually the kind of person who has a plan and an outline before embarking on a new venture. For this one, I just want to start writing. Sometimes it might be the struggle I'm having just making through a day. Sometimes it might be something I've thought about for years. Sometimes I'll take from things I've learned from others. Some will be short; some may be really long. I might blog every day for a week and then not again for a month. But I'm hoping that I might be part of the change that is slowly coming in our society about being able to be real and freely talk about our struggles.

#SpotlightOnStigma #SOS #WelcomedButNotAccepted #Stigma #MentalIllness #Bipolar #Addiction #SingleParenting #Alone #NotAlone #Depression #Anxiety #EatingDisorder #SuicidalThoughts #OCD