Spotlight on Stigma... Welcomed but Not Accepted

This is going to be a super-short post. (I know, I know... you are wondering which alien kidnapped Tracy and/or is writing through her.) I'm tired of being negative but I need to vent. The wedding weekend was incredibly stressful but had many fun moments. The wedding was somewhat stressful but overall was wonderful. The honeymoon was slightly stressful but was overall amazing. Even though I'd call it a success overall, there was a part of me that was ready to get back to normal life. That didn't happen... not even close. It was like a Top Gun plane launching without any runway to build up speed. We had enough time to run by the house and unpack before heading off to a big dance performance shoot.  This was the first time I had ever done a dance shoot without attending the rehearsal because I wanted one more day of honeymoon before starting regular life again. I felt we were experienced enough to not have to see the dances to get really good images. But I forgot about someth

(Trigger alert... mention of suicidal thoughts) It's Tuesday, October 4th and I'm on my honeymoon. My husband (a word that's still very weird to say concerning him) is a late sleeper and I'm an early riser. I've avoided getting on my computer/laptop for the last few days - due to a packed weekend of wedding activities from Friday until Sunday then resting once we got to our honeymoon destination. I wanted to check my email and catch up on a few work activities for a few minutes this morning. I've reflected a lot on the wedding ceremony and the weekend before a lot while on the honeymoon. For the past six months, I've spent hundreds of hours planning this wedding and details about joining our lives together.  Throughout the process, my mental health issues interfered. From anxiety getting the best of me, to brain fog making it hard to remember what I had just done, to depression or mania just getting in the way of getting anything productive accomplished, the