Honeymoon vs "Normal"

This is going to be a super-short post. (I know, I know... you are wondering which alien kidnapped Tracy and/or is writing through her.)

I'm tired of being negative but I need to vent.

The wedding weekend was incredibly stressful but had many fun moments. The wedding was somewhat stressful but overall was wonderful. The honeymoon was slightly stressful but was overall amazing. Even though I'd call it a success overall, there was a part of me that was ready to get back to normal life.

That didn't happen... not even close.

It was like a Top Gun plane launching without any runway to build up speed. We had enough time to run by the house and unpack before heading off to a big dance performance shoot. 

This was the first time I had ever done a dance shoot without attending the rehearsal because I wanted one more day of honeymoon before starting regular life again. I felt we were experienced enough to not have to see the dances to get really good images. But I forgot about something...

Just about every rehearsal I have to stick up for myself and for the photography by insisting that the person doing lighting gives me more than is his/her usual. For really good shots of any kind of action - like dance - a lot of light is not only desired, but it's necessary. 

I wasn't there to fight with the lighting tech at the rehearsal... and I paid for it during editing. I had to spend 2x-3x more time on each image to make it look right because of the dramatic lighting that had been used.

This editing was happening while I was trying to unpack from the wedding, unpack from the honeymoon, and unpack my husband's things from his apartment. I also had a lot of other work that I needed to catch up on after mostly taking off the weeks before and after the wedding.

Then on the Monday after we got back, having been married only 8 days, my mom had surgery on her feet. She was supposed to be able to walk (with boots) immediately after the surgery was over.

That didn't happen... not even close.

My focus went towards helping her while still trying to put things away. Work was put off even longer except for a few things I already had scheduled. I got almost nothing work-wise done that week. My new target for getting back into my old work routine (as much as I ever had one) was today.

That didn't happen... not even close.

My mom's left foot was badly infected. She called her doctor and they told her to go to the ER. My oldest brother recently retired and I thought he would be available to go with her. 

He wasn't - at least not at first.

So I spent the majority of my first day back to "normal" at the ER with my mom. I didn't get any work done. I'm not going into details, but it was also one of those days where nothing seemed to go right.

It's been a rough day. 

I really try to take a breath in the middle of crappy days like this and ponder the thought that I'm married. Actually, truly, amazingly married. So many times I prayed for this. So many times I cried over this. So much energy went into worrying about what I should do if he never proposed.

It's been tough to enjoy this time. It's the 15th day of our marriage and I'm so tired, so over life as it is right now. 

But I'm working on not dwelling on all that but instead thinking about how God answered all those prayers, tears, and worry-filled moments by providing an amazing husband for me.

Me. 

I'm still in awe. And this may be cliche', but I'm hoping this might encourage someone who reads this, someone who is also having a crappy day (or week, or month, or even year), to think about what is going right and to not get caught up in the junk. If it happened to me, it can happen to anyone.


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