Making it Through the Holidays with Addiction and/or Mental Illness
No matter
where you are in your sobriety or mental health journey, the holidays won't
make the urges to turn to your addiction or make the symptoms of your mental
illness go away. Social media and television portray holiday parties and
family gatherings as wonderful, fulfilling, stress-free times. In fact,
they are just the opposite. For an addict or someone who struggles with
mental illness, the stress of the holidays can be the trigger to bring even
someone who has gotten more healthy into going back into old behaviors.
I'm not a doctor or therapist but I did some online
research to try to find any tips that might help during this difficult time of
year.
Following are some suggestions that might help:
- BEFORE the holidays hit, make a plan. Studies show that stress can bring long-dormant behavior back. Get with your sponsor or another support person and plan for those stressful times.
- Remember that you aren’t alone. We
are all dealing with staying sober or living with mental health issues. If an
addict, keep in mind that turning to your addiction is only a temporary
fix. Reach out to fellow addicts when you have a low moment. If you
are someone with mental illness, also reach out if you feel like you can't
handle your symptoms.
- Call someone - preferably a fellow addict or another person
who deals with mental illness. Keep phone numbers with you for those
low moments when you want to drink, use, act out, or you just need someone to
listen.
- Remember HALT - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired – are common
triggers. Figure out ways to deal with them beforehand.
Remember that you need to get adequate sleep and nutrition through the chaos of
the holidays. Phone calls, meditation, escape, or distraction can
help. Slow down and don’t overbook yourself.
- Release resentments before going to family gatherings or parties. The #1 reason for relapse is due to resentment. Before
seeing the ones you may still have resentments against, get with your sponsor
and try to work through some of those feelings. If you aren't an addict,
think about forgiving some of those that have hurt you before you deal with
them. Remember that forgiveness is much more about you than about the
other person.
- “Bookend” events with planned calls. Have
someone call you before and after an event to check on you (and get you out of
an event if needed). Friends and family could be triggers and you might
need help escaping or dealing with the stress.
- Have an escape plan. Limit
time in stressful situations. Make sure you have a way to leave if needed
(and that your car isn’t blocked in).
- Relax your standards. Don’t
compare yourself, your home, your party, your family… to others’.
Progress, not perfection.
- Avoid isolation. If
going out of town, before you leave, find support groups that you can attend
while you are gone. If you are alone and isolated, shame and boredom can
make it harder to stay sober and more difficult to handle your mental
illness. If you are alone during the holidays, find people to be
around. Addicts... keep in touch with your sponsor and continue working
your program.
- Don’t feel obligated to discuss your addiction or mental illness with
friends and family. However, just in case, be prepared with
answers to uncomfortable questions. Role-play conversations/interactions
with a safe person if you feel they could be especially difficult.
- Serve others. One of the
best ways to be stay sober is to serve others. For those with mental
illness, if possible, try to put the focus on others' happiness instead of your
own. See how you can help at a family gathering or party. Visit a
shut-in. Help serve food to the homeless. Write letters to the
military or those in prison. Take the family’s kids out for a treat.
- Make time for physical exercise. Exercise
releases endorphins that can help.
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