Pain that Interferes with Everyday Life

I haven't had a day without pain in so long that I can't remember it... My guess being at least a decade, probably more. 

Since I was young, I was very sensitive. You probably thought when you saw the word "sensitive," you thought I meant emotionally. 

Actually, you were right. I was incredibly sensitive emotionally. But what I'm talking about here is that I was sensitive to sound, texture, temperature - and, the reason for this post, pain. 

However, it's difficult for me to express that I'm hurting. When I do tell others that I'm in pain, it's always accompanied by an apology (because my pain causes limitations that cause problems with being able to "go and do" as I'd like and usually my pain is also limiting the person I'm with.) 

To the best of my memory, I was told or it was implied from what was said, that I needed to get over any pain I had, with sickness being an exception.

I don't know how much that attitude in my family caused this issue or if it was a societal thing (probably both), but it was earlier this week that I correlated the two aspects. 

This week has also been much worse on the pain scale. But what's weird and frustrating is that it comes and goes. My overall pain (due to fibromyalgia) as well as localized pain in my right ankle, right shoulder, both wrists and leg pain (all due to either surgeries or injuries) haven't abated. 

So as much as a person can be, I'm used to the pain I just mentioned. 

What I'm not used to is the back pain I'm now having. Understand that I have backaches a lot.

I'm overweight, tend to slump too much, and don't have much core strength. Pain in my back, especially my lower back, is inevitable. 

But this is different - and another frustrating aspect is that it comes and goes. In fact, I had to go to my primary doctor a few days ago about something completely unrelated. I planned to also mention my back pain and see what they recommended as a starting point. 

However, that day my back felt fine. Grrrrrrr. 

Today that's not the case. Today every step causes a sharp, shooting pain - and sitting isn't a lot better. 

The ironic thing is that not long after all this started, my insurance company offered a special program for those with back pain. For various reasons, I kept putting off trying it. 

Then, one day about 2 weeks ago, I took the plunge. 

The first session was simply to get baseline measurements of range of motion, etc. I did fine afterward and was excited about the next session. 

My schedule got in the way for doing it on their timeline, which was about 3 times a week. I got in another session 4 days later. 

Mistake! 

The back pain I had already been dealing with got much worse. I hoped that time and rest would help it heal so I could work on the program again. 

This past Wednesday, when I went to my primary care doctor, I thought my plan was working since it was feeling so much better. 

As it seems to happen, believe it or not, Thursday it started getting worse again. I could kick myself that I didn't tell the doctor at that appointment. 

So... it's a few weeks later. I'm about to head out of town for an insanely fun and big-name shoot... shooting the Fan Weekend and the K-Love Awards' Red Carpet event. I don't get to shoot the actual awards show but will get to be in the press room to be part of interviewing the various award winners.

I'm terrified of how I'll make it this weekend. Surely I'll figure out something.

Quick update a week later. At almost the last minute I remembered something I could try - a steroid shot. My doctor was amazing and got me in before I left to go out of town. It truly made a difference during the weekend.

It's worn off now and I'm back (no pun intended) to where I was when I wrote this. But at least I made it through that weekend. Somehow, I know I can make it through upcoming events (even if it means another steroid shot!)

Cussing vs the Anger Behind It - What's Actually Sin?

If you read my posts regularly, you know that I question everything and usually think outside of the box. This is a trait I've had as long as I can remember. 

This has led to many pet peeves and soapbox issues. 

One is about cussing. 

(Get ready... I'm now stepping on my soapbox and it will include some of the words I'm writing about.)

I believe that it's the attitude, not the word, that's important. "Bad words" are a product of society, not something that is inherently wrong. 

And I get SO TIRED of Christians apologizing when they cuss or judging others when they do. 

Maybe I missed the verse in the Bible that says, "Thou shalt not say shit, damn, or fuck or I won't love you and you won't be mine." 

I feel there's nothing different between saying "crap" when you stub your toe and saying "shit" after the same action. After all, don't they essentially mean the same thing?

And how can you generalize certain words in a language? What if an American Christian says "bloody hell?" Do you automatically think they need to repent? If you were in Britain, you might.

I do personally draw the line with including God or Jesus in cussing - or if you make it personal to someone else.

For example: "Damn you to hell" or simply "damn you" or even worse, "God damn" directed towards a person is not the same as only saying "damn." 

Yelling "Jesus" when a car jumps in front of you (unless you are just yelling an incredibly short prayer for help and safety), is not the same as yelling it when you are mad that your spouse didn't wash the dishes.

I'm not a Bible scholar but I have a feeling those would be instances of "taking the Lord's name in vain." Other random cuss words don't qualify under that commandment.

One more thing before I stop. I want to share one realization I recently made about this idea that upsets me more than what I've already talked about.

Christians who worry so much about hearing cuss words actually separate themselves from non-Christians.

I guess if you believe that it's wrong to go into a bar because there's drinking alcohol happening there or into a casino because people are gambling, then this argument will make no sense.

But if you believe that we are actually supposed to model what Jesus said and did, remember that He regularly hung out with "sinners" - those who do the things that Christians tend to judge the most harshly. There is nothing in me that believes that He would stay out of a bar or casino if  He thought someone there needed Him.

So, being "holier-than-thou" and not associating with people who cuss or saying that someone must not be a Christian because they cuss (and just who do you think you are to judge what has gone on in someone else's heart?!!!) keeps people from wanting to come to Christ.

Now, if you feel a personal conviction not to cuss, then don't. 

But, at the same time, don't tell others to stop if they cuss. For some, cussing is part of everyday language in their family, in their world. IT DOES NOT mean they are less of a person, less of a Christian.

If you believe John 3:16 - For God so loved THE WORLD..." then get off your high horse and start caring more about who a person is and what a person needs and not what they do.

(Getting off my soap-box now. Have a great rest of your day.)