Pain that Interferes with Everyday Life
I haven't had a day without pain in so long that I can't remember it... My guess being at least a decade, probably more.
Since I was young, I was very sensitive. You probably thought when you saw the word "sensitive," you thought I meant emotionally.
Actually, you were right. I was incredibly sensitive emotionally. But what I'm talking about here is that I was sensitive to sound, texture, temperature - and, the reason for this post, pain.
However, it's difficult for me to express that I'm hurting. When I do tell others that I'm in pain, it's always accompanied by an apology (because my pain causes limitations that cause problems with being able to "go and do" as I'd like and usually my pain is also limiting the person I'm with.)
To the best of my memory, I was told or it was implied from what was said, that I needed to get over any pain I had, with sickness being an exception.
I don't know how much that attitude in my family caused this issue or if it was a societal thing (probably both), but it was earlier this week that I correlated the two aspects.
This week has also been much worse on the pain scale. But what's weird and frustrating is that it comes and goes. My overall pain (due to fibromyalgia) as well as localized pain in my right ankle, right shoulder, both wrists and leg pain (all due to either surgeries or injuries) haven't abated.
So as much as a person can be, I'm used to the pain I just mentioned.
What I'm not used to is the back pain I'm now having. Understand that I have backaches a lot.
I'm overweight, tend to slump too much, and don't have much core strength. Pain in my back, especially my lower back, is inevitable.
But this is different - and another frustrating aspect is that it comes and goes. In fact, I had to go to my primary doctor a few days ago about something completely unrelated. I planned to also mention my back pain and see what they recommended as a starting point.
However, that day my back felt fine. Grrrrrrr.
Today that's not the case. Today every step causes a sharp, shooting pain - and sitting isn't a lot better.
The ironic thing is that not long after all this started, my insurance company offered a special program for those with back pain. For various reasons, I kept putting off trying it.
Then, one day about 2 weeks ago, I took the plunge.
The first session was simply to get baseline measurements of range of motion, etc. I did fine afterward and was excited about the next session.
My schedule got in the way for doing it on their timeline, which was about 3 times a week. I got in another session 4 days later.
The back pain I had already been dealing with got much worse. I hoped that time and rest would help it heal so I could work on the program again.
This past Wednesday, when I went to my primary care doctor, I thought my plan was working since it was feeling so much better.
As it seems to happen, believe it or not, Thursday it started getting worse again. I could kick myself that I didn't tell the doctor at that appointment.
So... it's a few weeks later. I'm about to head out of town for an insanely fun and big-name shoot... shooting the Fan Weekend and the K-Love Awards' Red Carpet event. I don't get to shoot the actual awards show but will get to be in the press room to be part of interviewing the various award winners.
I'm terrified of how I'll make it this weekend. Surely I'll figure out something.
Quick update a week later. At almost the last minute I remembered something I could try - a steroid shot. My doctor was amazing and got me in before I left to go out of town. It truly made a difference during the weekend.
It's worn off now and I'm back (no pun intended) to where I was when I wrote this. But at least I made it through that weekend. Somehow, I know I can make it through upcoming events (even if it means another steroid shot!)