I'm inviting you my pity party today. I don't have a cake but I can provide some yummy grapes I just bought yesterday - or, even better, cookie dough. I don't plan to decorate with streamers and balloons but since I've been manic lately and did a huge decluttering session, my place is fairly neat. Sorry for the lack of formal, mailed invitations. It's kind of a spur-of-the-moment thing.
Here are the reasons for my party:
1 - I just took my mom to the doctor. Because she has another appointment this afternoon with her primary doc, we got a copy of the labs they did at this specialist. I don't know anything about what the results really mean, but I can read a lab report well enough to know that it's not good. What is probably the issue is a benign tumor on her adrenal gland. Most likely she will need surgery.
2 - My dad's foot isn't getting better. He's a Type 2 Diabetic and has an ulcer on his foot. He was hospitalized for it - to get IV antibiotics and to control his usually mostly uncontrolled blood glucose for awhile. During the hospitalization they realized that his circulation in that leg is blocked - 100% blockage in 2 major veins/arteries (I can't remember which). This basically means that his foot won't heal because there's very little circulation to the bad area. Normally this isn't a big deal because they just do a stint in the veins/arteries that have the blockage and open them up (like heart surgery). But in his case, he has an aneurysm above the area. They go in through the groin to do this so there is a huge danger of blowing the aneurysm with this procedure for him, which is extremely dangerous. However, the home-health nurse came by yesterday and confirmed what we've been thinking - it's not getting better. Most likely he will need surgery.
3 - This past Sunday my daughter had to help move some furniture at her job. Right after that her back was really hurting, but we just thought she strained something. Her ex-step-mom is a physical therapist and put her through a bunch of positions, etc, to see what she thinks it is. Though she couldn't tell for sure, she said that it's probably a big deal and to see not only an orthopedist, but one who specializes in spines. One of the possibilities is that she broke a vertebra. If so, most likely she will need surgery.
4 - My boyfriend didn't get the job that he interviewed for a couple of weeks ago. He and I are both very disappointed. I hurt for him because I know how much he wanted it and I feel he deserved it. (It was with the same company he works for now but a more challenging position, with a raise). But there's nothing I can do to make it better. At least with his issue, he won't need surgery.
5 - It's been a week since I was diagnosed with a major double ear infection. My ears aren't really better but my stomach has been torn up due to the strong antibiotics. Best of both worlds, huh? I've also been in a low cycle, incredibly depressed and over-the top anxious this past week. It's super hot outside, with the heat index values running over 100 I think every day. I can't deal with doing ride-share in those temps... even working in my study is almost unbearable because the air doesn't work correctly and it's usually about 80 during the day in here. Remember that I'm heat-intolerant and I break a sweat even at what most people consider mild temps. So I've been miserable in more ways than one, along with feeling so guilty because I haven't been "productive" this week. I also shouldn't need surgery, but there is the possibility that all of the other people I live with will all need it very soon, possibly all in the same short span of time, like a week or a month.
I'm very sorry, but I've used the little energy I had to write all this down (or most of it, there's more but stuff I don't want to go into right now)... so I'm too tired to have company. I guess I'll have the pity party by myself.
(Now where is that cookie dough?)
#SpotlightOnStigma #SOS #WelcomedButNotAccepted #Stigma #MentalIllness #Bipolar #Addiction #SingleParenting #Alone #NotAlone #Depression #Anxiety #EatingDisorder #SuicidalThoughts #OCD
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