Thursday, January 19, 2023

Transitioning to Being Married During Rotator Cuff Surgery Recovery

 Marriage is, um, interesting. I still look at him next to me in bed or on the couch and ask him, did this really happen... are we really married?

It's been an adjustment, especially since we live with my parents and all the stuff that's gone on since we got home from the honeymoon... 

My daughter and her fiance' had to move quickly and they have a LOT of stuff. ALL of their help fell through so he and Shelby ended up doing a lot of the move without anyone else. This was after my rotator cuff surgery where I desperately needed help full time, but he had to work and then go help them move when he got off work. 

This also took a big hit on us financially because they didn't have the money to move or to pay deposits, etc. There was no one else to help, so we did. This was on top of me not being able to work as soon as they said I would, so I have made almost nothing for 2 months now... and we had some other unexpected bills that came up after we started sorting out finances.

Oh... and they had some major issues with the house - no heat; pipes messed up so they went without water a few days (or longer - can't remember); the pipes messing up caused raw sewage to be dumped in their basement... and the landlord wouldn't do anything until I finally found an email for someone higher up in the company. Everything is fixed (well, all the major stuff) now and they are finally getting settled.

My mom had something happen (I can't even remember what happened this time) and had to go to the ER. This was only a few weeks after my surgery so again, he had to go to the ER with me and help. Thankfully, she didn't have to be admitted that time - but she was still weak and had a hard time getting around and doing what she could normally do for weeks afterward.

My dad fell and broke his back, so he also couldn't do his typical tasks. There was a time when Travis went to work and it took all 3 of us to do a task.

We went to visit his family in Florida for Christmas and the first day we were there, I started getting sick. I had a fever on Christmas Eve and was at the hotel alone all of Christmas Day. Several weeks later, I'm still coughing and not at 100%.

Other stuff happened during that time but I won't bore you anymore. Just know that he was thrown into the fire by marrying me. I try, but I'm not always the best patient, especially when I can't do anything for myself. 

But he was amazing during that whole time. The vast majority of the time, he took great care of me and my daughters and my parents. Again, most of the time (he's wonderful but he's not perfect), he was really patient when I was extremely frustrated with only having one arm and not being able to do anything.

We're getting settled now. Mom is feeling better; dad got a backblock so he's not in as much pain, and I'm FINALLY able to start using my arm again. I started working again this week so hopefully I can help get our finances back in order. 

So, the very long version of a short question, I LOVE being married to Travis. Was it everything I thought it would be? No. Am I still extremely excited that we are actually together full-time? H*ll, yes!

I don't know where you are with believing in God, but I recently found a plaque that says, "I still remember the days I prayed for what I have now." I can remember so many times I cried big ugly tears - both before and after I met him - wondering if I would ever be married again. Like I said earlier, it still seems like a dream sometimes... like he's going to get up after we've spent the evening together and go back to his apartment. 

But then I see myself signing my name "Tracy Frontz" or I get called into the doctor, hearing "Mrs. Frontz" instead of "Ms. Riggs"... or I kiss him good-bye before he goes to work or discuss with him what WE need from the grocery store... and I KNOW it's real. 

It really happened. We are together. And even though life is full of crap, it's wonderful knowing that I'm not alone while I'm dealing with it.

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