Perspective Shift on Homelessness Due to a Family Member

(Before I start, I want you to know that I do realize there's a better way to refer to the homeless now, but, for the life of me, I can't remember what it is. I'll update this if I ever think of it.)

There is a lot of controversy over what to do about the homeless population. Some say to not give them money because it just fuels their addictions. Others say that it's the Christian thing to do - to help those in need.

I have been torn between the two - at times doing one and sometimes the other.

But there's nothing like having a situation like this get personal for it to change your perspective...

One of my nephews has a few mental health issues - the kind that make living a typical life almost impossible. He's incredibly smart and had an incredible future ahead of him before all this happened. 

He had an episode before he was diagnosed where he was violent. This kid (I still think that though he's almost 30) is one of the most tranquil, laid-back individuals I've ever known. It was definitely his disease that made him act up like he did.

But his family (yes - my extended family) didn't understand. They wanted him to "snap out of it" and to get a job so he could get his life together. His mom kicked him out of her house. At the time, with therapy, medication, and government help, he was able to get an apartment and a job.

Though it wasn't easy - he had to walk and take the bus to and from work in Maine in the winter - he was able to keep going.

Until he wasn't.

Psych meds are some of the worst to manage. They usually have truly awful side effects so it's so tempting to stop taking them when a person starts to feel better. Or they stop working after a while. It often takes 6-8 weeks - or more - for them to even start working so it's a loooooong process to find a new one when needed.

I went through that merry-go-round with anti-depressants. I tried almost everything, alone or in combination, over several years. Nothing worked. I found out later it was because I was misdiagnosed and actually had bipolar disorder, which is another issue with these meds - and this field of medicine.

Well, my nephew was experiencing really bad side effects. He's smart enough to do research on his own and he found out what was causing the issues. He decided to wean himself off some of them.

At first, it was wonderful... amazing. He felt so much better. He had hopes and dreams again. He started writing music again. He decided to go back to school.

Then it wasn't.

After a while, the effects of not taking all his meds meant that he started showing signs of his disease again. This led to another big episode, more violence. 

He was again kicked out of his home.

This time, he had nowhere to go except for his car. He's officially homeless. It breaks my heart but there's nothing I can do about it. 

My husband and I barely have enough room for ourselves and there's a good chance our daughter (who is in a similar situation but currently is still living with her ex), might have to move in at any time. We are struggling financially and are also helping our daughter until she hopefully can get a job herself.

The only reassuring aspect of all this is knowing that he's strong and hopefully can figure a way out. His immediate family still tells him to snap out of it and get a job. I tell them to lay off him. He needs love and support, not to be told to do what he wants to do but obviously can't. But they aren't listening to me.

Anyway, that rant is beside the point.

What really made me change my perspective...

My mom, who talks to him just about every day (and is his biggest supporter), told me that one way he's making it is to collect cans and turn them in to earn a few dollars. 

One day about a week ago, he was counting change at a McDonald's to get a hot meal when a man saw him. He gave him $20. 

I teared up when Mom told me. I was so thankful for the compassion of this stranger toward my nephew. 

And then it hit me - he's homeless. He is literally no different than those who live on the street, those who so many say need to be moved out of sight, those who so many say deserve or chose the life they have.

Honestly, some probably have, for various reasons. But I know the power of addiction, how mental health issues can overwhelm the strongest person, how a series of bad circumstances can cause the most industrious person to lose housing. A friend of mine has a dearly loved son who is homeless due to addiction. 

My nephew is there because of mental health. My daughter is only one step away from there due to circumstances.

None are lazy. None chose this life. All had hopes and dreams that have been taken away.

There isn't an easy answer. 

But I do know one thing.

They DON'T need to hear that they need to get jobs. They DON'T need to hear that they need to snap out of it. They DON'T need to feel they are worthless.

They are sons, daughters, dads, moms, employees, artists - and nephews. They are important. They are worth being supported.

Somehow, some way, we need to figure out how to help them realize those things - and help them in tangible ways to get out of the situation they are in so that they can get back to who they wanted to be before life got in the way.

Random Thoughts about the Book of Isaiah (and the Bible in General)

If you have read this blog for any length of time, you know that I'm all over the place. Topics for posts vary from true stigmas to random thoughts I have about life.

So, you shouldn't be surprised that seemingly out of the blue I'm writing a post about a well-known, but only partially loved, book in the Old Testament. You also shouldn't be surprised that I'm extremely honest about how I feel concerning a topic - even when it's against what many believe.

Let me 'splain...

First, some background.

I have a friend who was an acquaintance for a long time but with whom recently I've gotten to know better. She has a podcast called "Meet Me in Isaiah." According to its Facebook page, this podcast's main message is to "share the Good News of Jesus Christ by creatively promoting Isaiah 53. Written about 700 years before Jesus' birth, Isaiah 53 is a precise and concise description of Who He is and what He did for us."  

Here's part 1 of the honesty portion of this blog: I have heard her ask many times for people she could interview for her podcast at meetings we've both attended. I think she's even asked me directly if I would do so at some of them, but I was always able to dodge the bullet. 

For about the past six months or so, we've also been trying to schedule another podcast she helps with that concerns my life as a creative freelancer. A couple of weeks ago we finally were able to pull it off and get that dang podcast recorded. (Whew!)

After we were done, it happened. She directly asked. It was just three of us in the room. No dodging possible.

There were two problems that arose - 1) I wanted to say yes and 2) I had no idea what I'd talk about.

Now for part 2 of being blatantly honest: I don't read the Bible. I haven't in years... decades. The summarized version as to why has to do with my past in various churches. 

You see, the vast majority of churches say they know that they way their interpretation of scripture is the only truly correct one. But how can they all be right? Since it's not possible, which one is? 

Are any of them? 

After I started thinking about this, reading scripture became an overwhelming task, a chore. Constantly trying to discern the "right" interpretation of a verse, chapter or book was too much. Wondering if the Bible was really true (yes, I'm one of those Christians)... Knowing that translations are often different and trying to decide which one is correct. Questioning over and over - are any of them?

Then into the picture comes another friend I have nicknamed Pineapple. Pineapple, who feels very much like I do about church (more on that another time). Pineapple, who loves Jesus and loves me. Pineapple, who absolutely loves scripture...

She has spent the past year praying that I would once again love Scripture. She doesn't judge me or push me but instead would give me tiny nudges about it just about every time we talked. 

One day she gave me a gift - a children's Bible, one that is somewhat unique in that all of the stories tie into how Jesus is woven throughout all of those 66 books. 

I appreciated the gift greatly, but even a children's Bible was too much. It was placed on a shelf on the table beside where I sit in my den and occasionally I would pull it out, trying to make myself read it. I would put it where I would see it whenever I sat there - with the thought that this placement would remind me to read it. 

Time would pass and I would put it back on the shelf with other books - feeling guilty whenever I did so. After a while I would pull it back out - feeling guilty whenever I did so (because I still wouldn't read it). Even without being pressured, the guilt was there. I knew I should be reading it but still couldn't make myself.

I simply couldn't get past being overwhelmed about opening it.

Then, about a month ago, some stuff changed in my heart. I started actually reading.

So, when my podcaster friend approached me about being on "Meet Me in Isaiah," this time I thought about it instead of instantly dismissing it.

Since then I've been thinking about what verse or verses I would highlight if I took her up on the offer. One thing that I still feel strongly about is that pulling a random verse out of the Bible can be risky. Yes, it's possible to do so to a helpful affect, but it's also very possible to pull a phrase, sentence, or paragraph out of context, which can be at best misleading, and at worst, downright dangerous.

So, I didn't want to randomly choose a verse.

Isaiah is also a complex, somewhat scary, book that includes prophesies of the downfall of several places. 

Due to having anxiety disorder and panic disorder, I already don't watch the news. I'm just not up at this time for delving into those parts of Isaiah. However, if I pick and choose the chapters I read, it's just a longer method of cherry-picking verses.

So reading the entire book of Isaiah is out. Randomly picking a chapter is out. And though there are a LOT of amazing verses in Isaiah, those are all well-known. I'll bet those verses have been discussed on the podcast many times.

I just realized that this whole post explains what I said in the first place - how reading the Bible is extremely complicated, perplexing, and frustrating - at least for me. 

Now I just have to figure out what to do about it... and hopefully one day I can be a guest on the "Meet Me in Isaiah" podcast without anxiety.