Happy Birthday, Jack

By -

 Last fall my sponsor, mentor and one of my best friends passed away. Today was his birthday. We hardly ever celebrated each others' birthdays on the actual days but we always tried our best to celebrate them in some fashion.

The main way we would mark the occasion was to eat either Chinese buffet or Japanese steakhouse meals. It was a special treat and a fun way to spend time together, especially when we went to a Japanese steakhouse and had them cook it in front of us.

This morning I looked at my calendar and saw his birthday at the top of my items listed for the day. It's the first birthday in about seven years where I didn't at the very least get to call him and wish him a happy birthday.

As we are both Christians, my hope is that this is the best birthday he's ever had - one where he's not in pain, where he's not dealing with his addiction that so affected his life, where he's not living alone in a house he had a hard time taking care of as he grew older. 

But I've been mourning all day. I miss him incredibly. My husband and I went to a Chinese buffet and ate in his memory. It wasn't the same, of course. 

So... happy birthday, Jack. I'm so thankful that you were a part of my life. I miss you.

I love you, big brother!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Mania to Depression During COVID-19

By -
I have bipolar disorder, Type 2, which some consider "mild"... but live in my shoes for a few weeks and you'll think it's anything but mild. As with many mental illnesses, one can be high-functioning or lower-functioning, depending on the severity of the illness, support from others, etc.  Maybe it's because performing well is a major part of my self-worth; maybe it's the work ethic I've been brought up with; maybe it's something else, but I have to be really, really depressed to keep me from working if I have a deadline for a task. Lately, I’ve been that depressed. Today I realized a couple of the reasons... First, the obvious: I mentioned why I feel I am high functioning despite having a serious disorder. COVID-19 has robbed some of that from me and I hadn't even realized it. My main job is as an event photographer. I supplement my income with rideshare (Uber/Lyft), mystery shopping, and some writing. So, three out of ...
Read more

A New/Old? Mental Health Issue... Really?!

By -
So... I'm working on a document and in it, I'm describing some of the mental health issues I had when I was in my early 20s. I thought one condition I had was called agoraphobia but I get all of the phobias' names mixed up so I decided to research it to make sure. Some background... My panic disorder started at that age (or my late teens, I can't remember exactly). It got so bad that I developed a mild version of agoraphobia. I would leave my house only to go to work and to church but wouldn't go anywhere else. Even work and church were difficult but my sense of responsibility somehow prevailed during those times. As many of us with mental or physical health issues do, I was a good actress and acted like I was okay when I was away from home, but I was a basket-case otherwise. Looking back, I was already displaying signs of both my addictive-prone personality as well as bipolar disorder, but then I had no clue mental health was really the issue. You probably th...
Read more

Is There a Place for a Person Who's Really Hurting at Church on Sunday Morning?

By -
Is there a place for a person who's really hurting at church on Sunday morning?  For the last 24 hours or so, I have been hurting really badly. My back has been killing me. My ears have been throbbing. The one floater I still have in my left eye after surgery to remove them, which usually isn't apparent, has been, well, apparent. On top of all that, when I got home from a few wonderful days of a mini-vacation, there was mail that some of my doctors are no longer covered by my insurance.  So, I'm having physical issues, and in the middle of it, I'm going to have to find new doctors. I'm still working on getting three different specialty meds I'm supposed to be using that I'm having problems obtaining.  I'm tired. I'm hurting. And I'm at church where everything is upbeat and happy. with the joy of the Lord. This brings up a question that I've wondered about before, but never had this kind of in-my-face direct example of living it.  I am hurting...
Read more