Why Even Try?

I really am trying to stay as positive as possible with these posts.  They are supposed to be encouraging... helpful.  But today I just have nothing left.

My daughter has chronic pain from some medical conditions as well as clinical depression and anxiety disorder.  On top of all that, she hurt her back about a month ago and has been in lots of pain off and on for that issue.  This all is with the start of a new semester at school.

I can't remember off-hand but I'm pretty sure I have blogged that I haven't been able to do rideshare much lately due to the heat. Also, I haven't gotten much photography work.  Finances are always an issue but it's at the "I'm terrified" point now.

After a long time without a credit card, I'll admit I got one recently. I was only going to use it for purchases that I could easily pay for within the month; purchases that I had to make (like doctor copays, etc).

Well, these little expenses are adding up and the work, though starting to come a little, is still not enough.  The heat just won't break.  It's almost OCTOBER and it's still in the 90's most days.

Because my daughter's pain lately has been really flaring up, she hasn't been able to work much either.  But last week she was able to work some... and I was able to do some rideshare.  Things were looking up.

But - the breaking point for us was last night.  She had about $250 stolen from her wallet.  She was going to deposit it last night after work.  That much money is a big deal when you are struggling like we are.  I decided to do rideshare in the heat today because we need the money so badly but only got one ride.

It just seems like we can't catch a break.  I so wish I could say I was strong... that I'll get through this like some of the other crap I've dealt with in my life.  But I'm so tired; so very, very tired.  I don't want to fight anymore.  I'm trying but I can't see how it's "gonna be okay".  Today I just can't.  It just seems like nothing we do makes a difference.  I seriously am wondering why we should even keep trying.


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